Honoring and Healing Your Inner Child for Better Horse Time
Every childhood is incredibly different, just like every horse out there. When we understand that our patterns were often created by the meanings we placed on experiences we had as children, we can heal and honor our inner child.
Here’s an example from my childhood, so you can begin to reflect for yourself.
When I was in the fifth grade, I had been riding horses for a good two years. It had completely consumed me, much like many of the young riders, also known as the ‘barn rats’ in the late eighties and early nineties. All I could think about was riding, hanging out with my friends at the barn, and occasionally getting to go to local horse shows. I would run around like a horse at home, as well as jump over jumps without the horses after lessons. I pretended I was riding all the time.
Now, imagine me as a kid in school, where nobody else rode horses. It was like trying to relate to aliens, as far as I was concerned. Other kids started to become annoyed and even jealous when I would talk about my riding experiences.
The few friends that I had at the time all turned against me and I became the brunt of some pretty brutal emotional bullying, led by a ring-leader mean girl. I would come home crying nearly every day that year.
This didn’t stop my love for horses, but what it did was create a feeling that it wasn’t safe for me to express myself and what I loved to do in life. It made me feel different and an outsider. And in the most basic ways of human survival, it isn’t safe to be alone. I became more introverted and I was incredibly nervous about how other people would view me if I talked about what I loved.
So if you think of our minds like computer programs, the experience of being bullied because I was different made me start running a bit of software in my mind that I should keep my head down and not tell anyone about what lights me up in life. I was afraid of people becoming jealous of me and then being mean to me.
Once I understood that I had that program running in my mind, I was able to reframe it to something much more helpful. I realized that it was important to ask others what they loved to do and to help support and encourage them. This made it feel easier and safer for me to share my light.
You see, if you begin to give your experiences new meaning you can allow for transformation to unfold.
And in my case, I wanted to be sure that others felt seen, heard, and safe in my presence, so those around me wouldn’t experience that ostracized feeling I had as a youngster.
The good news is that I slowly began to understand that I could make new friends in school and I could find a balance between enjoying my horse friends and finding other fun things to do with my school friends. I mean, dancing around to Bon Jovi, rewatching the Princess Bride, and going to pool parties was a lot of fun too.
Now when I make a social media post, write a blog, or create a podcast, I think about how it can help someone else out there. Can I make someone smile, share a little riding tip, or even give them something to ponder to inspire them to make positive changes in their lives? This way, shining my light becomes way more important than being worried about jealous or mean people.
And just to be completely transparent, I’ve had my share of trolls not only comment under posts, but take the time to email me about how I couldn’t possibly help people improve their riding or connection with their horses online. I had to shake my head, as I knew I was already ahead of my time and they would either catch up or not.
But it didn’t matter. Because that was their perspective and I didn’t have to play any part in it besides taking a quick moment to delete their mean-girl comments, block them, and move on with helping the ones who truly understood.
And a quick side-note about the trolls. If you are in an industry where you are finding they begin to pop up, that’s actually good news. It means you are moving up a level in visibility and you’re paving the way for other brave souls like yourself.
Keep going! Don’t let the muggles bring you down, ever.
So with all of this said, I want to remind you that it is possible to heal your inner child, to help you connect to your horse in more profound ways. Remember, I do offer incredibly powerful hypnotherapy sessions that include inner child work.
But please know this, even if you’re not able to embark on therapy, you can still have a wonderful relationship with your horse.
You don’t need to heal everything that has happened to you in order to still enjoy your horse time. If you have the desire to show up completely and commit to being present to your feelings when you’re with them, they will appreciate that way more than you realize.
So if you’re feeling out of sorts, sad, frustrated, angry, or depressed here’s a bit of advice for you:
Tell your horse, out loud, how you’re feeling. You can say something like:
I’m not feeling my best and I wanted you to know, so you understand that I’m not trying to hide anything from you. I want you to feel safe with me and I know that being true to how I’m feeling will help you know that I’m not pretending or causing any static in our relationship. I love and appreciate you. And it’s okay if you want to continue doing your thing without me, but I’d love to be able to connect if you’re up for it. Thank you for being you.”
And you know what ? You can say this to your human friends as well. I’m sure they would appreciate your honesty and perhaps share with you how they are feeling.
Now how about honoring your inner child in the near future… what are some things you can do?
I’d start by placing a hand on your heart and thinking back to when you were between the ages of seven and fourteen. What were some of the things you absolutely loved doing?
Can you add that into your life now?
You can also think about how amazing it is that you get to interact with horses and bring that sense of awe and gratitude with you when you’re with your horse. Your horse will most certainly notice. They feel everything, after all.
I’ll conclude with a list of things I love to do to help honor my inner child.
Perhaps they light up for you?
- Sing randomly and change the lyrics to include my animals’ names in my favorite songs. (yes, often Disney songs)
- Read for hours on a day off. It’s one of my blissful feelings, to sit with some tea and read and read and read.
- Run around with Pepper Pony, inviting him to jump over ground poles with me and then chase me in our little woods.
- Place a hand on a tree and thank it for sharing space with me.
- Press my ‘30 second dance party button’ in my office and watch my little dog stare at me as I dance around wildly.
- I started playing golf and watching the LPGA on television again. This is my second favorite thing to do, besides riding and I am so thrilled to come back to it again.
- Lay on the floor and cuddle with my dogs. I did this with my first dog all the time and it’s one of the most precious feelings to connect with them (and get doggies kisses).
- Order more Wonder Woman stickers to place around my office and add them to notes to my clients.
- Play with our lightsabers. Yes, we got them from Saber Forge. I have Leia’s replica and Charlie has Luke’s.
- Ride with a sense of playfulness more often. Of course I make sure we are working on biomechanics, but it’s so important to allow for play by going out on the trail, ponying Indy behind us for company, and even pretending we are going on an adventure in and out of the arena, utilizing our gentle hills. And yes, I do ask Pepper what he’s in the mood for and if he’s ready for my invitations for certain exercises. Everything we do becomes more of a co-creative dance this way.
I hope some of this sparked your curiosity and interest to give your inner child some love. Remember, I offer complementary strategy sessions, if you’re interested in deep healing and transformation.
Thank you for being here and shining your light. You are amazing.
