If You Want to Impress Your Horse, Do These Five Simple Things.
If you're reading this, well done for having the desire to become the rider your horse can trust!
Here's a summary of what to expect: Thoughtful, tactful, and simple ways to show your horse how much you care, how much you want to be a kind and supportive dance partner, and most importantly, that you are someone that can be trustworthy, always.
Remember: Horses thrive with clarity and consistency of character. You've got this!
Now please read on...
After interacting with horses for nearly (gulp) thirty-seven years now... (time is so weird)... I've discovered that if you keep these five main concepts at the top of your mind (and heart), your horse will be most impressed with you.
At the very least, they will feel more relaxed in your presence. Who doesn't want to give that to their horse?
Alright alright alright... Here we go!
Five Ways to Impress Your Horse (Pony/Equine/truly any other being that you interact with)
1. Check in with yourself first.
If you're new to Inspired Riding®, this is one of the first things I advise all of my clients to do all the time.
Before you interact with your horse, it's imperative to get a clear picture of how you're feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally.
This means that you will need to carve out a few minutes to ask your inner guidance what you need to feel your best.
If you have no idea what I'm talking about, here's the SIMPLE way to do this:
Take a deep breath.
Place your hand on your heart.
Ask yourself: What do I need right now to feel my best?
Breathe and wait for any flash of insight.
It could be an image of a glass of water. A feeling of needing to do specific stretches. A song popping in your mind to start listening to, singing to, or even dancing to. Or perhaps you get the idea to do some box breathing (Breathe in for 4, hold for 4, breathe out for 4, hold for 4).
Be open to what comes up.
The more you trust your inner guidance and begin to give yourself what you need first, the more present, calm, and confident you will feel when you show up in front of that velvety muzzle you so adore.
If you want some super cool tools to help remind you to do this, I have a physical journal that prompts you to check in with yourself... as well as the digital version on the Focus App.
Wait, what? Inspired Riding® has an app? Yep. It's magical. But read the reviews if you need proof.
2. Say how you feel out loud to your horse
If you've been in the horse world for some time, you know that your horse knows if you're 'faking it' in any way. If you're having a bad day, simply tell them. "Hey, I'm feeling pretty s*&&y right now, but I'm going to give myself grace and do the best I can for us in this moment."
Then take a deep breath. Bonus points if you can do the horse sigh... you know the one... where you release your lips and let them flap.
Better yet, if you can actually SHAKE YOUR FACE and make noise, you might actually snap your state back into a fit of giggles, if only for a moment.
Do it. I dare you.
But seriously, if you express how your inner world is feeling to your horse with words, it truly clears the air, the energy around you both, and it will offer your horse relief, knowing that you're being congruent. (Your outside is matching your inside).
This alone will help your horse trust you more and feel more relaxed, since they can sense your attempt to help them understand what's up.
Here's the SIMPLE way to do this:
The next time you're with your horse.
Say out loud:
- How you're feeling.
- What you'd like to invite them to do with you.
- And when things are going well: THANK THEM out loud.
- Be sure to thank them for being there for you, even if things don't feel like they are flowing. <<< This will also be key to letting them understand and truly feel how you appreciate everything about them. This admiration, gratitude, respect of their entire essence is truly felt. Because horses feel EVERYTHING.
Commit to doing this with every interaction and notice how you and your horse feel more relief.
3. Ask your horse if they are ready (for everything you do with them)
This is a beautiful habit to get into. I find it's like a verbal half-halt... asking your horse to rebalance and bring attention to you in the moment. When you ask, "Are you ready... " ? And then truly notice how they respond, your horse will start to understand that it's safe to make their own choices in your co-creative dance together.
I've experimented with grooming and tacking up completely at liberty. And unless we are going to a clinic or competition, I will always do this in our home space. It's a beautiful way to see if your horse is truly with you, ready for what you're offering, and eager to interact.
In our case, if Pepper Pony didn't want to be groomed, tacked up, ridden, etc. He could easily run off into the woods and say 'see ya, lady'.
This scenario has only happened less than a handful of times, which shows me how much he loves our interaction.
Don't get me wrong. When he runs away, my initial feeling is typically of disappointment, but then I'm able to quickly tap into my gratitude for his clarity and wisdom for not offering a ride. I then reassess the full situation.
Most of those times had to do with my energy being low, the footing was too slippery, or he was wound up by some unknown creature that had been wandering their woods the night before.
Let's say you don't have the ability to do these things at liberty for now (although you could get creative and find a large, fenced paddock or an empty arena at your facility).
Here's the SIMPLE WAY to do this:
- Start with asking if they are ready to be haltered. Show them the halter, then perhaps move it away for a moment. Notice if that sparks curiosity in them and they move their nose towards it.
- You can use this technique for each grooming tool. "Are you ready for the curry comb, hard brush, hoof pick, mane comb, etc...?"
- Do this with your saddle pad, then saddle... then especially when you get on the mounting block. Again if you're new here, I have an entire mounting block ritual. <<< Click here to check it out!
- When you're on their backs, ask if they are ready to walk/trot/canter/go on the trail/do a transition. Add a nice breath before you ask as well.
Adding this in your mix will transform your interactions with your horse. ESPECIALLY with how you respond to their answers.
If they say yes and go for it. Thank them.
If they say no and change the subject, thank them for their clarity.
Breathe and get curious about how you can do something else or ask in a different way. <<< This becomes a much more nuanced response, so please give yourself grace, especially if you've been conditioned by 'the old ways' like I had... to 'make your horse' do the things.
Sigh. I know. It's can feel like a really challenging shift. It's a process of unraveling the BS we were taught... but it's SO worth it. Your horse will truly be impressed by your efforts... And know that you're not alone... you can always join our group to feel supported here.
4. Get really really really patient. <<< For real.
When you go through all of these first three steps, it can feel like you're taking a lot of steps back in your 'progress'... yet... these are the keys to create a lasting, trusting connected relationship with your horse. I think it's certainly worth it.
After all, I'm not here to help you win ribbons. I'm here to help you win your horse's heart.
With that said, if your horse doesn't want to go along with your invitations, you'll need to cultivate a level of patience you may not have realized you were capable of. It can feel like your insides are SHOUTING at you to "MAKE something happen"... and yet... if you tap into the essence of patience, you'll begin to truly become aware of some magical shizzness....
Here's the SIMPLE way to do this:
Breathe and ask for your horse to walk on gently.
And then... They don't move.
UGH... don't panic...do this instead...
Take a deep breath again, shimmy your shoulders and wiggle your toes in your boots, to be sure you're not holding onto any tension. Then ask again: "Are you ready to walk?"
If they still don't move, breathe and scratch their shoulders, behind the saddle, and look out into the distance, imagining you're already there, walking beautifully. (more on this in #5 below)
If that still doesn't work, ask your horse what they need. <<< You can learn more about animal communication techniques in the Believe in Your Magic Course, available within the monthly Connection Group Remote Coaching Program!
You might need to hop off and hand walk them. They might feel something strange happening with their tack. They might be frozen because of a potential deer that they THOUGHT they saw across the road.
You can then ask them to come back to relaxation mode with you. You can very gently vibrate your inside rein and encourage them to stretch down for a moment, as you breathe with them. You can also install a relaxation button, which I teach about in the Brave in the Saddle Program.
Whatever your horse's response is to the 'are you ready' question... needs to be infused with lots of love, gratitude, and a big heaping dose of patience.
Let's face it. Being ALLOWED to sit on these magnificent animals is an honor. We need to be as respectful and kind as we can to move in harmony with them.
Cultivate your inner patience any way you can... even if you need to imagine that you are the most patient person you've ever met and invite that energy to merge with yours... Get creative about how you can become more patient. <<< you might even want to start singing or humming to your horse to help shift the energy as well.
Go back to #1 and ask your inner guidance for assistance as well.
5. See, feel, and hear the desired results of your invitations.
When you hear people say "visualize" your next move, does that feel a bit out of reach? You'd be surprised by how many of my clients say they aren't very visual.
So here's the SIMPLE way to get this going:
Walk around your riding space without your horse. Imagine you want to move just like your horse and practice doing a few transitions. If you're feeling fancy, add in some lateral moves, a small circle, or even a flying lead change. Feel how your body moves and needs to shift, as you do these horseless horse moves.
Then do your best to imagine how your horse's footfalls would sound. How their breathing would sound. How the birds or trees in the wind would sound.
If you are a visual person, picture all of this together as clearly as possible. See the most graceful and easy transitions happening in your mind.
Then when you go to ride, breathe and bring back what your senses experienced. See where you want to be, a few strides ahead. Feel how you want the movement to feel in as much detail as possible. And listen for those footfalls and breathing sounds. Perhaps you can both do some horse sighs together?
The more you practice these mini-visualizations, the easier everything will become. Decide to do this for at least your next few rides and notice any differences.
If you want to have some mini guided visualizations at the ready. I happen to have created that too. Yep, I poop content, like a unicorn pooping rainbows. Click here to check out the >>> 10 day visualization experience on ubtubey.
So there you go. If you're able to do ALL five of these with your horse, get ready for some incredible transformations.
I believe in you.
Have questions about any of this or want to dive into Inspired Riding more?
Kindly visit the website and be sure to grab the free mini course:
Create a Powerful Bond With Your Horse
